Losing to Gain

Hi friends,
Hope you are well. By the time you read this message, hopefully the Mass for the Sesquicentennial Jubilee of the Diocese held at St. Michael’s, Hewitt would have been over successfully. I would like to thank everyone for all your participation in the event.

A good number of years ago, one of my classmates got married to a girl. I happened to attend the wedding and wished him a very happy married life. We could not meet each other for a good period of time due the mode of life we had chosen. It was a very rare moment when we met after a while and he had changed a lot by nature and even by ap-pearance. I was curious to know how his life went on. He said to me, "I don’t know what to say. My wife is a good woman, but she is adamant. I had to yield to any of her argu-ments and requests and any difference of opinions. If I just do that, she will be happy and you know what, I cannot be happier. I always lose the battle, but never worried." That sounded a bit odd to me, a man yielding to a woman at all times. It took some time for me to understand and realize what he said was right.
We live in a society in which we are all driven by success or anxiety for success. None of us want to lose any competition, argument or any undertaking. The siege on and the search for success is so deep in our hearts that even relationships are measured by success. I would count on losing to gain. There are circumstances wherein we need to lose if we want to gain or win. Only when we understand this our life will be easy and smooth. Yes, it is a tactic to achieve success.

Lose yourself to your kids and you will gain happiness,
Lose yourself to your spouses, you will gain true love,
Lose yourself to your parents, you will gain support,
Lose yourself to your teachers, you will gain knowledge,
Lose yourself to your competitor, you will gain a friend,
Lose yourself to your siblings, you yourself will gain affection,
Lose yourself to the master (Guru), you will gain enlightenment.
Lose yourself to God, you will gain everything.
Not that you will not get any of these if you are not willing to lose. You may get all these. But when you lose yourself to others as mentioned above, all these you will get in abundance, and then both the giver and the receiver will be happy. When I say lose yourself, it is the ego and the pride that you need to lose. This technique of losing the self to gain is a good tactic which will never ever fail. Because, it is in trying to win over all the above-mentioned people, we lose them all and the benefits that could be derived from them. This is true of all relationships, especially in the relationship between a wife and the hus-band. This is what my friend I mentioned above told me.

Yes, it is in losing that we gain and win. This is true in most situations. Let us try this tech-nique and gain more and more contentment.
Yours sincerely in Christ Jesus,
Fr. Antony.